Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Fella likes to ask me questions about my day- he asks all about my co-workers, their spouses and lives, and always wants to know about my cases and clients. 

I don't know so much about his people.  Or his job.  Or his daily work life.  Not cause he doesn't want to tell me, I wouldn't think, but mostly I don't really ask. I mean, I ask if he had a good day, but I don't really get into things that happened at his office.  And lots of times he'll ask me questions about my friends or co-workers or family members, and I don't know the answer.  Especially about their spouses/friends and what those people do for jobs. This is not something I'm apparently too concerned with. 

His brain is always working to find a way to relate to people, to talk to them, to get to know them.  Mine... notsomuch.  If we are out in public, and from far across the crowded park or arena or restaurant, he sees someone he knows, he will go out of his way to make sure to say hello to that person.  Even if that person would never have known he was there, and isn't someone that Fella is super excited to see.  On the other hand, I will often literally HIDE from someone I know so I can avoid talking to them, even if I like them just fine.

I would rather send fifty emails or texts than pick up a telephone and call someone. I avoid telephone calls in my personal and my professional life.  Even my mother, my sister, P and Katie know that calling me is a waste of time, because I hate it. And I LOVE the Facebook and Twitter (and the blogosphere, obvs), but I avoid actual, in person conversation, and I don't relish (okay I loathe) social events and activities where I have to do my makeup and dress cute and then be friendly and cheerful with people that aren't in my intimate circle.

When I was younger I was always a people person.  I was the life of the party. I was everybody's friend.  So did I change? Or was that not the real me? 

And it's not that I HATE people.  I like people. I just prefer them to be not in my actual physical presence.  Unless they are people with whom I am comfortable enough to wallow on the couch, eating snacks, and (silently) watching TV.

So I guess it's all about the effort I'm required to expend to be around someone, and that makes me feel lazy, and then guilty for being lazy, but not guilty enough to change my laziness, because it is me and it is mine and it's what makes me happy.


Keenie Beanie said...

I usually go through life in a bubble, pretending nobody in my physical presence exists, unless I choose to let them in. Can't stand the telephone, hate professional networking events with a passion, dread getting invites to parties, weddings and the like. But when human interaction happens organically, naturally, I'm bubbly, talkative and generally charming. I just hate having it foisted upon me.

So, yeah, I get this.

Gayle said...

Are you my clone, only younger and prettier? I think in an earlier life I was very outgoing and in touch with as many people as possible and craved being in touch.
1- Life shattering event made me withdraw from people.
2- In my work, I HAVE to be on the phone all day and have to be pretty decent.
3- I REALLY like texts, emails, facebook.
4- I HATE talking on the phone, unless I'm getting paid to.

If you find out there is something wrong with us, please text me and tell me how to fix us! LOL

Oh yeah, and quit avoiding me in restaurants! LOL

Desert Songbird said...

I discovered, around the time I turned 40, that I really enjoyed myself. I liked spending time with myself, and less often time with others (unless it's my family). I changed from being extremely extroverted to being predominately introverted. I still have the speaker in me, but I much prefer the writer in me. I think it's normal. So should you. :) And he loves you any way, right? So there.