Wednesday, March 12, 2014


We almost made it to our ten year anniversary- just a few days shy. I love you, Best Dog. You were the best good friend I could have ever asked for. I hope you didn't feel neglected the past few months since the baby's arrival. I think that with mom here everyday you got even more love-- more walks definitely. I also hope I did everything right at the end. I can only hope I did right by you as you always took such good care of me. Sleep well and I'll see you again one day.

Monday, March 10, 2014


Baby Girl,

You're seven months old now. I have not been a very faithful blogger.  The time is going by so fast and I don't know how to even begin to describe how much you bring to our lives every day.

You haven't started crawling yet, but you are quite adept and getting from one side of the room to the other via a series of moves: roll/sit up/lie down/roll, etc.  I have a feeling that you are going to be one fast mover when you actually get your feet underneath you.  We are in for quite the chase.

You are still a happy little thing-- you truly cry pretty rarely, and when you do these big tears well up and that bottom lip sticks out pretty far.  I don't know how you learned to do that, but it works. 

You want the remote. You want the phone. You want the comb I'm using. You want it all and you want to put it in your mouth, thank you very much.

You love to play piano with your Daddy, and you like swinging, and you like things that make music.  You want to see EVERYTHING.  I have to carry you on my side or facing forward because you don't want to miss anything. 

When you get excited you breathe in and out of your nose really quickly and it's so loud, and you kick your little legs back and forth like windshield wipers.  And when you're lying on your back, you kick your legs, together, up and down with so much force it lifts your whole body to your shoulders up in the air-- I keep waiting for you to leap in the air and land on your feet ("like Johnny in Karate Kid" says Daddy). 

You still like to go for walks in the stroller, but it's not as reliable at helping you sleep as it used to be. The car, though, is always a good nap inducer-- and I have spent a couple afternoons driving around for an hour or two while you sleep in the backseat, because you have decided that you don't love naps so much.  Nighttimes aren't too difficult, but we're getting ready to start a little bit of sleep training, so you don't have to be nursed to sleep.  Daddy needs to be able to put you to sleep at night, too... We knew this, but it was really brought home to us when Mimi and I went to the theatre one night and left you with Daddy.  You went to sleep pretty easily, but woke up an hour and a half later and you were REALLY!! MAD!!  You went right back to sleep about 5 minutes before I got home, of course.  But we don't want you to be sad, and I want to be able to go to the theatre again with Mimi in a couple months, so we have to get this worked out.

You started having some food about a month ago-- just a few things, sometimes from our plates and sometimes I get you something special. You love oranges, and crackers are popular.  But if it's something you can get hold of, you'll try it.  Max enjoys getting what drops to the floor.  You are still getting a vast majority of your actual intake from breastfeeding, and we're both still enjoying that. 

Speaking of Max, we found out a couple weeks ago that he has cancer.  I really hoped he would live long enough that you would grow up with some memories of him, because he is the best dog that I've ever known.  Unfortunately, it doesn't look like that will happen. But I will take lots of pictures and tell you all about him. You will have known him, even if you don't remember. 

You are the best thing ever. And I love you.


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Three months

Well, it's really three months plus 12 days, because I have been writing this post in my head for a while but am only now writing it outside my head.

Dear Baby Girl,

I'm writing you this blog post for multiple reasons.  1) I want to remember as much as I can from these early days (and thus should probably make sure to save this somewhere as more than just a blog post). 2) this is what bloggers do, apparently.  It seems quite the thing to write monthly letters.  So here it is.  It just took til month number three for me to get started.  

The reason it took me til month number three... well.  For months one and two, I was not working, and pretty much was never on my computer.  Yes, I had my phone with me at all times (of course) but I barely even posted on Facebook (by the time you can read this I wonder if you'll know what Facebook is. Or blogs, for that matter. We'll probably be telepathically communicating by then or something. Anyway...).  I was a bit of a zombie, actually, for the first several weeks.  We weren't sleeping a whole lot.  Well, YOU were. You were sleeping a LOT.  Just not in big chunks of time.  And I wasn't sleeping much.  And I was tired.  REALLY tired.  I'm much more human-like now, but still pretty tired.  Baby Girl, you will learn one day when/if you become a mother that all people want to talk about is how much/well the baby is sleeping.  So I will say this: starting about a month ago, you're pretty good at it.  You wake  2 or 3 times a night, but when I feed you, you immediately fall back to sleep without much effort.

You start out in my arms every night, in the living room while Daddy and I watch TV. then I put you in your bassinet next to our bed.  When you wake the first time (after an average of 5-6 hours currently), I take you out of the bassinet to feed you, and usually we both fall asleep like that-- me sitting up, you lying on the nursing pillow, either mid-nursing or with your face snuggled up to your Best Friend, Boob.  The sleeping sitting up thing was hard on me at first, but for my birthday when you were about 6 weeks old, your daddy gave me a bed lounger pillow, and now I am perfectly comfortable. We used to stay that way the rest of the night, but since you were two months old (and I went back to work) we have begun sharing the big bed when you wake up a couple hours later.  You sleep between us, on your back with your arms up by your ears or straight by your sides.  Until you get a little hungry, and then you snuggle up to me on your side, me on my side, tummy to tummy, and you nurse in your half-sleep. Then you go back to sleep, and it is my favorite.  You are so warm and soft and adorable, and your tummy is all full of milk and you have the most perfect contentment on your sweet face. 

You don't really have much interest in the kitties or Max yet-- though you're starting to pay attention when a kitty is nearby and his tail is waving within your eyeline.  Max is very protective of you-- he has started barking-- LOUDLY- which he wasn't much into before.  When we go for walks he will take his post between you and any stranger that might stop to say hello.  Merlin doesn't bother you, and you don't bother him, and I think that's his plan for the foreseeable future. Dobby didn't seem to even flinch when you came into our lives.  He still cuddles me at night, and if you're in the bed he will lay nearby and keep his eye on you. He has been known to put his paw between your head and Daddy's elbow, just in case.  I woke once to find him resting his head, along with one paw, on your tummy.  People ask if I'm worried one of the (very large) cats will lie on you or otherwise hamper your breathing, and I'm just not.  Partially because both cats tend to dart away upon much noise from you at all, and partially because I'm never sleeping too soundly when we're all piled up, and partially because they have never attempted to, and partially (maybe mostly) because I'm not looking to borrow trouble.

In the mornings, when you wake for good, you are the happiest person I have ever known.  Your eyes flutter open, and you look around, and when you see me or Daddy or your Mimi (or the ceiling fan, your other Best Friend) you smile the world's best smile.  You get to stay at home with Mimi while your Daddy and I go to work, and I am so glad that you will get to spend so much time with her.  You two have very full days, usually taking two walks because you love being in your stroller.  It is your favorite thing.  When you are cranky or unsettled, Mimi will put you in your stroller and you will smile that smile again.  Papaw comes with her sometimes, and you are the best of friends.

In the end of September you had your first airplane ride and we went to Wisconsin to visit your Great Grammy and Daddy's other family up there.  You were excellent on the plane, snuggled against me, just sleeping the whole time.  Other than one very hard night (that I think was the result of my eating chili that did agree with my stomach or yours), we did really well in the hotel, and that's when we discovered how nice it is to sleep all together in one bed.

This is getting really long, but it's three months of stuff, so bear with me.

You have a pacifier attached to a giraffe named Winston that has turned out to be a very good friend.  You weren't sure you were interested in the beginning, and I was wary to give you a pacifier anyway, but eventually you decided he was okay.  

You like to watch football on TV, and you are fascinated with what's on our phones, especially videos with music.  You really like to talk, and we have very long conversations of raspberries and bubble blowing.

You were a chili pepper for Halloween.  We went to four houses in the neighborhood just so we could say we did.  You didn't love it.  You just were too tired I think.  But you were super cute... :)

We rarely use your actual name. I call you Sweet Potato, and Pumpkin Pie, and Angel, among others. Daddy calls you Pumpkin Head, or sometimes Hot Dog (I don't know why).  And everybody calls you Baby Girl, which is what we called you while we were waiting for you and we hadn't shared your name with anyone yet.  Speaking of your name, your Daddy found your first name in a book and it made my heart pound and I immediately KNEW.  Your middle name is your Mimi's middle name, and your Great-Granny's middle name, too.  

You like me best right now, and I have to say that while I would like it if Daddy or Mimi could calm and comfort you in your most upset times when I am not home, I love that you just sometimes want me.  When I was waiting for you, I wondered if you'd like me.  I wondered if I'd know what to do for you, and how to make you happy, and what you needed.  Of course, there are times you're just unhappy and even I can't fix it, or you need your Daddy to burp you just right, or your Mimi to sing you a song.  But after a long day of being apart, sometimes you just want me and I just want you.

Speaking of being apart.  I don't like it.  It's about my least favorite thing EVER.  If I could not have a job, Baby Girl, I'd quit today.  Daddy and I are making a plan for that to happen as soon as we can.  I miss you all the time we're not together.  When I come home at the end of the day and you lay your head on my shoulder and I get a big old whiff of your delicious baby smell I wish I could stay in that moment all the time. 

You're the best thing ever, and I love you so much it makes me cry to even type it...

All my heart, Baby Girl,

Monday, October 07, 2013


As Gayle pointed out to me... I have completely neglected this blog.  I do think most of my readers are also my FB friends so you've seen baby pics (if you're not, shout out!).  But there are things I share here that I would not share on FB, so I do have stuff to tell. :)

I am tired. And this is my third day back at work and I am less than thrilled about it.  Obviously, even if I loved my work I would be sad to leave the world's cutest baby at home, but it's even harder when I feel the way I do feel about work.  Which is that work is STINKY.  And so again, I find myself looking for something more tolerable.  If I'm going to leave my baby behind every day I would at least like to not hate where I'm going.

As for leaving the baby, I'm very very lucky to be leaving her at our home with my mother. I am grateful for that peace of mind.  Mom has been at our house almost every day since the baby was born, hanging out with me while Fella is at work, so they know each other well.  And I know that BG (Baby Girl) has someone that would throw herself in front of a bus for her.  So that helps.

I'll tell the birth story soon (back labor, vomit and C Section oh my!), I just have to finish remembering all of it-- it's coming back to me in bits and pieces.

Here she is, my sweet angel.